Hate to Love the Internet

The most simple explanation to the lack of post on this blog in recent times, is the fact that this site is managed by a Digital Marketer. Obviously a digital marketer is expected to be seen online at least 20 hours a day, which essentially is true *eyes roll back*, but unfortunately in between ReTweets, status updates and awesome Pinsblogging has gone out of the window.

Thou as lucrative and glamorous as it might appear in the following image, the job of Social/Digital media marketing is pretty much nothing less than a huge pain in the ass. This cool graphic by a leading agency, doesn’t tell the whole story. Thou they would always try and sell you the idea that its all bling bling, unicorns and rainbows!

Social Media strategist, the fantasy
Aspiration for newbie Social Media Strategists

Being in social media pretty much means saying goodbye to your social life, sleepless nights and dreams of timely status updates. All hell the internet!

Anyhow, just another day at the internet factory, I was going through the motions and suddenly I came across this piece:

What makes a girl squirt during sex or other stimulation
Wiki Answers everything!

I couldn’t stop my jaw from dropping. In simple terms, someone was looking up ways to stimulate their woman on answers.com. Come on! I mean internet pornography is one thing, this is a whole new dimension. No wonder NSA and CIA consider us as idiots and laugh as they spy on everyone’s internet activity. I sure hope the dude got his answers and showed his woman a great time (Y)



PS: This is what she emailed me after she saw my post. Its her post on my blog! 

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice,
And the way that we touch,

I love your warm smile,
And your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring,
To my life every day,

I love you today,
As I have from the start,
And I’ll love you forever,
With all of my heart.

Ever felt wind rushing through your hairs and really feeling it? I mean like really feeling the lightness of your body… feeling being part of the air itself? For those who haven’t been in love… love actually feels like that. You fly… without wings… you burst in ecstasy without having any good news… you burn in pain with no apparent logical reason. With me, I am not in love anymore. I am myself love.  Iam a feeling; I am an emotion… a sensation. My physical value has been defeated by my spiritual value and I have to live this way till I die.

Realization… I don’t like this word. People die… people kill themselves just because of this stupid word. Life change, fates alter…realizing that “I won’t be able to live without her” or “I lost everything and got bankrupt” or “Only if I had pursued that line”. What would go wrong if we don’t just realize and keep going on in life? As soon as our consciousness does its calculations and provides with an outcome, we soak ourselves in pool of regression, guilt and deterioration.

It all started when I met you this time. I hadn’t REALIZE it before that our comfort ability level matches to the extent that we didn’t even know we are meeting after ages and that we are meeting for the second time. How much thrilled I was with each passing minute of knowing you would be here any minute to pick me up. Why was I thrilled when I knew “he is a good friend” and we would have some fun roaming here and there? Little did I know that you weren’t just a friend and that I haven’t realized it yet. There you were, inside your car… just a reflective shadowy appearance of you meant a lot to me. As I stepped closer, I changed my mind zillion times of how to greet you. Should it be “hey there” or “I am soooo excited to see you”… no I shouldn’t sound desperate. Why do I want to make myself appear attractive and gorgeous to you? You are just a friend!!!

I smiled at you as I entered your car. The last thought in zillions was to let you greet me first. 5 seconds… 6 seconds… 7 seconds… 8 seconds… I started feeling so special sitting there. Is it the way you look at me? You make me feel special just by your aura. Omg, I am feeling thrilled like a newly teenage girl. As the car moved, so did the conversation. 27 seconds… 28 seconds… 29 seconds… you seem so familiar, so mine… so warm and welcoming.

2 days, a few hours of 2 days… not enough to be by your side. It’s not important what happened after we met or where we went or what we did. All that matters is that you were by my side all the time. All I remember is that you held my hand, you kissed it gently and you embraced me like a perfect gentle man. I loved being led by you, fighting with you on petty things, letting go what you didn’t want to do, pressurize you to have my way. Oh, it’s so fascinating how in little time I saw all your colors. I was in seventh sky, speechless and amazed when you told me how much you love me and that you want to spend rest of your life with me. Do you really feel that way or are you reading my heart out? I wanted to throw myself in your arms right at that moment but I couldn’t. You were not mine, you would never be mine. But I love you so much; I can do anything for you. That moment for me was like having a coal in one hand and ice cube in another, option is to throw one away.And I kept deciding which one hurts more. I sat there, burning and melting at the same time, unable to say anything.

All I remember is that I felt the strength in me which was never there. I wanted to conquer the world, I wanted to soar in skies, and I wanted to fly instead of walking. It’s all because you were by my side, your touch made me realize how much you meant to me and how much I dreaded the moment of getting apart from you. 5 minutes left… 4 minutes left… 3 minutes left… no, no, no, noooo, I don’t want to go… I don’t want to leave you. 15 hours and you are my everything… you are my asset… you are what I have earned out of being a good girl for 24 years. 2 minutes left… I wish I was that girl who could stop time. Can I actually skip my life and stay with you? Why on earth do we have to say farewell? When would I see you again? Should I tell you I love you more than anything or anyone? 1 minute left… this is not happening, this shouldn’t be this way… you should take me home… we should live together forever… in a small hut, 6 kids… you cut the logs… I cook and clean. 10 seconds left… how should I say my last words to you?

The car stopped. I looked at you. I didn’t have to say anything; your eyes said it all. We hugged… I didn’t want to end it. I wanted to stay in your arms forever. Can’t you feel I want you so much? Are you dumb or is it how things work… people can’t read your mind? If you could read my mind, you would have been drowning in strong tides of emotions. And when I got out of car… I felt strongly I have left something behind… what is it? What is that I have forgotten behind? It’s you sweet heart… and I didn’t forget you behind… I left you behind… you are mine and if you see logically, my things have to be with me… but you are not here with me… you are there, in another world, breathing in another air. It’s not easy to get up in the morning knowing you would never be mine. It’s not easy to visualize another woman near you, near you the way I want to be. You know what makes me happy? Your smell, oh God, your smell. You know what really makes me high? Your breath on my hand… when you hold it against your lips to kiss.

The only thing which I would keep asking nature is… why do we have to wash our hands? I would want to keep your smell in my hands… to keep feeling you beside me… keep holding you forever… feel the touch of your fingers in my fingers… look into your eyes till eternity… Why do we have to wash our hands?

I can claim I have understood women completely!!

Hi readers! Yeah this is the first time I am referring to the people who actually (I WISH) read this blog. I don’t normally do it because mostly its just me venting out whatever I have in mind to no one specifically. So anyhow lets cut to the chase..

There was the hype of 2011 and as I check out the bottom right screen of my monitor, February has already ended. Which essentially means that my career move is 2 months old now, but thats not actually what I wanted to scribble here.

So anyway the reference here was February. The valentine month ❤ 😀 Not for me at least. This day hasn’t been of much significance in my life, more so because in my teen years I haven’t had much luck on the V-Day 😉 So i decided that I should grow up and stop living in this teenage dream of mine. Being emotionally challenged and trying to be practical at the same time is a difficult task (Trust me, been there done that!)

Befriending women who are very emotional and are very expressive about almost everything in their life has made me think like a woman too *REALLY VASIF!?* are you bi?

Do you want to surprise your girlfriend with a present she’ll never forget Don’t get her anything. She’ll never forget. #valentinesday

When you look at me and i look away its not cuz i don’t like you its cuz i don’t want you to see the HUGE smile on my face

I hope one day you miss me the way I missed you, and then I can walk away and ignore you like you ignored me.” BURN!

This illustration will explain how I have – well sort of – started thinking like women:


PS: This post was supposed to be published in February 2011, but somehow stayed in the edit section. Sad!

Polly wants a cracker

17 year old Polly

Polly is a little girl who keeps falling in love with much older guys but doesn’t admit those jerks are actually Pedophiles because she thinks they are cool and of course Polly is stupid. But after reading the title of this post many must’ve thought I was gonna talk about that stupid green parrot  which Kurt Cobain talked about in the the Song. No i’m kidding her real pic is below:


I am assuming NO! I am pretty sure Polly wanted a cracker, (since Kurt was such a stoner himself) he was being a racist or cuz Kurt was Polly’s slave and she wanted him. Actually during European ancestry the slave owners cracked whip on their slaves and it would make sound of a cracker.

Stupid White Man

Cobain killed himself because he was either homosexual or may be weed wasn’t killing him fast enough. Declared himself as Buddhist and Jain at times, he was one confused soul. Cracker is basically opposite of nigger, (an insult to whites, an attempt to demean them) so the next time a white guy calls you Nigger, Black, Asian or Mexican, just call them a Cracker. Perhaps I shouldn’t talk about him since he’s dead, talking shit about dead people is bad and I have to die one day too.


Speaking of dyeing, Polly is quite fond of dyeing. She’s not stupid because she keeps falling in love with Pedophiles but because she dyed her hair amber last summer. Well summers are pretty cool, so cool that movies have been made about people knowing what others did last summer. I quite don’t get it still, why would people be such snoops and wander into other’s business and keep track of what someone did the preceding summer. I think its safe to say they don’t have much of a life and are mostly pixel counting at their respective jobs.

Coming back to Polly she thinks she is a naughty seductress which is not true because she is an under-aged teenager. But she pretends to be all grown up and keeps on dyeing her hair with weird colors. She thinks she has perfection paralysis which is true to some extent since she lives in her own utopia and doesn’t do anything until its done perfectly. Her stupidity cannot be measured, she can’t help but fall in love with pedophiles (which in fact is only a crush) and then she names her crushes as Romeo or Alejandro. Yes she does that I am not joking. She is actually a lady gaga fan (even saying that name makes me GAG – she has just a gagged up name) and I am not sure Gaga’s content is appropriate for minors :-@

But use of gags can shut people’s mouth then why doesn’t someone shut up gaga with a gag, rhymes? Or choke her even, is this why cuz she sings well. Yeah well I’ll give that to her she might be an extremely twisted and weird version of Madonna but yes her live performances are better than many of today’s pop stars like Biebers 😛 I just had to put it in there. Because Polly should be listening to bieber rather than gaga since she likes women singers.

New Beginnings…

Moving forward

I recently hinted about starting a new job and wanted to take a minute to elaborate and let everyone know what I am up to.

2010 ended with my tenure finishing at Synergy Advertising in different Marketing roles for Digital Media & Publications, and although I have left Synergy for a new opportunity, I have nothing but amazing memories and accomplishments to boast during my tenure. I learned a lot during the time I spent there and found my niche within this industry, made great friends and developed professional contacts. There are many things about Synergy that I will miss, but am excited to move on to my new role and what I view as the next chapter in my life.

It has been a month now in my new position, as Digital Marketing Specialist at a stealth digital startup with new projects. I cannot reveal much yet about the company or service, but will in the coming weeks and let everyone in on what I am up to. What I can say is that I am very excited to be a part of a new innovative venture, backed by a large private group, with a growing staff of talented technology people. I am confident that when we launch, we will impress the web world, create value for consumers and improve the lives of our subscribers. Stay tuned and I promise to share more soon.

You are nobody in the billion..

~They call it Life~

I have seen castles made out of sand,
Met people who believe destiny is engraved
on the palm of their hands

I have seen people change their faith,
Experienced love… change it into hate,
I have seen people grow younger with age,
and a bird who wouldn’t fly out of the cage,

I have seen love sold for money,
people who are devastated inside..
but on the out they are funny

I have seen the unicorn fall in love with the toad,
People who owned half the city,
have now hit the road

I have learned to expect the unexpected,
Doesn’t always happens as suspected,
Perfection doesn’t exist… we’re all defected

Everyone cries,
Some just hide their tears,
They say coal turns diamond
Over a thousand years

Someone may believe you are one in million,
For others you are nobody in the billion

Getting to know you better.


The infamous James Lipton, host of “Inside the Actor’s Studio” BRAVO television program, asks his guests a few questions at the end of the show. If he were to interview a Marketing or Business professional, here how what he’d probably ask.

Now being a Marketing person myself, if I were to answer Mr.Lipton’s questions, this is how I would go:

What is your favorite marketing/business
–  Profit

What is your least favorite marketing/business word?
–  Bottleneck / Impossible

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally about marketing/business?
–  Ideas that turn in to creative solutions to problems/opportunities, helps make people’s life better.

What turns you off about marketing/business?
–  Not the business, but people rather who don’t quite get what marketing actually is in the present age.

What’s your favorite curse word when you see really bad marketing?
–  OMG you gotta be kiddin me!

What sound or noise do marketers/business people make that you love?
–  The constant tapping of fingers on the table, bang of the table when an idea is conceived

What sound or noise do marketers/business people make that you hate?
–  Cheap copy and stupid messages.

What profession other than marketing should marketers attempt – to become better at marketing?
–  Marketers haven’t left any profession untended!

What profession should marketers never try?
–  Finance, Number crunching, Statistics

If marketing heaven exists, what would God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
–  “Finally you’re here. My heaven feels so complete now”

Nike writing the future on and off the field

Its summer time again and it couldn’t have come any sooner. All you football lovers know what does this mean. The scene is destined to be set in South Africa, a gorgeous place to be at. A lot has changed since Germany 2006, when the Azzuri struck gold with penalties on a hot summer night in Berlin. A sporting event as humongous as the FIFA World cup attracts all the major brands of the world. This time around the race is fiercer than ever, top brands competing to get the sponsorship and rights.

Adidas yet again showed its muscle as the top sporting brand by getting the main sponsorship for the World cup. It has been able to do that also by being the major kit sponsor for a lot of teams as well. How ever Nike just turned the tables on Adidas by its latest campaign ad the season.

Nike exploited the dwindling power of the sponsorship: Nike isn’t a cup sponsor, and the ad doesn’t mention the competition. The World Cup — coming in June from South Africa — is actually sponsored by Adidas (ADDYY.PK). And yet the new Nike ad is so entertaining and star-studded that it could well wipe the floor with whatever Adidas comes up with.

Nike has also extended the battlefield on the digital front. Making effective use of venues such as Youtube, where the ‘Write your future’ Nike ad is already approaching 10 million views, offer massive audiences for zero money. Why bother paying for an official slot when an unofficial effort is so much more efficient? And a far better reach, more sharing options and WOM.

In contrast to the Adidas low budget African flavour oriented World Cup ad, the Nike ad features several of the game’s giants. The like of Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid and Portugal), the flamboyant Wayne Rooney (Manchester United and England), Didier Drogba (Chelsea F.C and Ivory Coast), , Landon Donovan (LA Galaxy and the U.S.) and Ronaldinho (F.C. Barcelona and Brazil). Nike took it a step further by featuring its ambassadors from other sports as well with cameos from Kobe Bryant and Roger Federer.

The fun part about the ad is how the stars see their future. Wayne Rooney has the funniest bit where his miss pass is interrupted by Frank Ribery and finds himself a bearded outcast, living in a rain-soaked trailer eating slop out of filthy cooking pot. While Christiano Ronaldo’s perfect free kick rewards him a statue unveiling in the city centre, a stadium in his name and the world premier of the movie made about his glamorous life.

Historically, soccer ads are one-note affairs in which famous players stage awesome, impromptu matches in the slums of Brazil or secret cargo ships.

Why sportswear companies believe that fans might be excited by fictional football is an unsolved mystery. The Nike ad, by contrast, has just the right level of magic realism to be taken seriously.

Even non-soccer fans will love the scene where Ronaldo greets Homer Simpson at his front door and nutmegs the ball through his legs: “Ronal-D’oh!” 😉