OMG OMG OMG its Twilight!!

How Twilight Works!!

A few weeks ago I had the miserable experience of reading Twilight. A friend bought it for me and I took it with me to read on a long flight from Seattle to Houston. I knew it was going to be crappy, but I thought it would be a guilty pleasure kind of crappy – where you know it’s bad but you still get enjoyment out of it. I actually managed to power through around 400 pages until I gave up and started reading Sky Mall. I’ve been seeing Twilight everywhere lately, especially with Vampire Teens II New Moon’s release, so I thought I’d break down why chicks go apeshit for it.

First off, the author creates a main character which is an empty shell. Her appearance isn’t described in detail; that way, any female can slip into it and easily fantasize about being this person. I read 400 pages of that book and barely had any idea of what the main character looked like; as far as I was concerned she was a giant Lego brick. Appearance aside, her personality is portrayed as insecure, fumbling, and awkward – a combination anyone who ever went through puberty can relate to. By creating this “empty shell,” the character becomes less of a person and more of something a female reader can put on and wear. Because I forgot her name (I think it was Barbara or Brando or something like that), I’m going to refer to her as “Pants” from here on out.

So after a few chapters of listening to Pants whine about high school, sucking at volleyball, and being the center of attention, the second major character is introduced. Imagine everything women want in a man, then exaggerate it by ten thousand – and you’ve got Edward Cullen. The level of detail that the author goes into while describing Edward’s appearance is remarkable. At one point while reading I started counting the number of times the author used the expression “Edward’s perfect face,” and it was far into the double digits. The author excruciatingly details his muscular pecs, clothing, hair, eye color – even his goddamn breath (I’m not joking).

Edward intensely listens to everything Pants has to say, even if she’s bitching about she had diarrhea on Christmas or her preferred method for cutting a sandwich in half. As far as the reader is concerned, Edward cares about nothing in the world more than Pants. What the author has done is created a perfect male figure – a pale Greek statue which the reader can worship and in turn be worshiped by.

So what about men that like Twilight?
If you’re male and you like Twilight, you’re gay. I don’t mean that in the derogatory sense, I mean it in the “you want to put your testicles against another man’s testicles while gripping handfuls of chesthair” kind of way.

And the movie?
The movie is just the same uninspired crap shat out onto a film reel. If you like the taste of horse manure on your bologna sandwiches, you’re probably gonna like it on your birthday cake as well. The same principle applies with Twilight.

Beyond that, it’s just a romance novel with the occasional vampire teen drama bullshit peppered here and there. It doesn’t really break any new ground in the realm of vampire fiction, other than portraying vampires as a family of uncomfortable retards who prance around the woods eating deer and bunny rabbits. There’s lots of nervous lip-biting, tender kisses between Pants and Edward, and lengthy descriptions of every feature of Edward’s body. Pants is a static character who never really progresses beyond being an insecure vampire fangirl who obsesses over Edward. Whether her character grows beyond that is unknown to me, I’d stopped reading by then and shifted my attention to an electric butt-massaging chair in Sky Mall.

I am a good boy mom…

Just a little piece I read somewhere, written pretty amaturely but still says a lot..

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn’t drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I’d get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn’t see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
“The other guy is drunk,” Mom,
And now I’m the one who will pay.

I’m lying here dying, Mom….
I wish you’d get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I’ll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn’t drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn’t think..

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I’m feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don’t think it’s fair.
I’m lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put “GOOD BOY ” on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I’m becoming very scared.
Please don’t cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn’t drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Yahoo! ready to attack Twitter on the Microblogging warfront

After closing the social network platform SpotM, Yahoo has launched Meme, in English, to take on microblogging site Twitter. The company had launched this service in Spanish and Portuguese languages earlier this month.

Meme is currently in an invite-only mode, similar to few microblogging services like Tumblr, Twitter, Pownce and others. After creating the account, users get a blank blog for micro-sharing text, images, music, videos or mash up of all these things.

It also offers the facility to add new friends by searching the internet, which is quite similar to Tumblr and Twitter.

The company’s previous efforts to capitalize on the social networking domain kept failing in spite of repeated attempts. The recently launched ‘Know Your Mojo’ also failed along with the Indian social network, SpotM, which was closed down less than a year after its launch. Well Yahoo has a reputation of not being consistent with its products, they disappear and the accounts close down.

Cristiano Ronaldo the new David Beckham!

Cristiano Ronaldo has the potential to replace David Beckham as the footballer who earns the most money from endorsements following his world record 130-million dollar move to Real Madrid, experts say.

“There is certainly a vacancy for a football central brand right now,” said Simon Chadwick, professor of sport business strategy and marketing at Coventry University in England.

“Beckham, because of his age and the stage of his career, has lost it. And Ronaldo is ideally placed to assume the mantle of ‘brand Beckham’, especially among young kids and teenagers,” he told AFP.

Chadwick, who has studied what makes a strong sports player brand, said Ronaldo has many of the required qualities: he is highly skilled, has a good physique, plays at a successful team and has enjoyed “sustained” success.

The 24-year-old Portuguese winger has already appeared barechested in adverts for Pepe Jeans, as well as in campaigns for Nike, Coca-Cola, the video game FIFA Street 2 and Indonesian energy drink Extra Joss.

He earned 19.6 million dollars a year at Manchester United off the pitch from product endorsements, compared to 42.5 million dollars earned by the 34-year-old Beckham last year, according to British media reports.

With his move to Real, where he will play alongside other big-name new recruits like Kaka and Karim Benzema, Ronaldo is following in the footsteps of Beckham who also left Manchester United for a successful spell at Real.

“He is in a fantastic position. Both clubs are very good at marketing their brand and players and have a huge fan base,” said Jamie Wynne-Morgan, managing director of M&C Saatchi Sport and Entertainment.

“He needs to be careful not to be overexposed and make the right strategic decisions, not do lots of little deals,” added Wynne-Morgan, whose agency advised on a deal that saw Ronaldo sign up as a “global ambassador” for engine oil company Castrol earlier this year.

Ronaldo, the 2008 FIFA world player of the year, signed a six-year deal with Real worth 94 million euros and will reportedly be paid 13 million euros each season, making him the world’s most expensive player.

Yahoo! – Microsoft 10 Year Deal! Part -2

Microsoft Wins, Yahoo Folds, Google Still Reigns in Search Game

Microsoft gave Yahoo bare minimum terms in their new 10-year partnership: a fortified combined search engine off of which it can sell and retain advertising revenues, and a possible exit strategy down the road.  Either way Microsoft wins.

The long-anticipated search and advertising pact announced today did not include the favorable terms — primarily billions in upfront revenue guarantees– expected by disappointed Yahoo investors, who initially drove the company’s stock down 12 percent.

YHOO 14.32 -0.28 (-1.92% ) Intraday | 3 Month | 6 Month | 1 Year

Quotes delayed at least 20 mins.

Whether by design or coincidence, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer played his cards well over the companies’ tumultuous three-year negotiations. Yahoo initially rejected a $47.5 billion buyout offer from Microsoft in 2008 as well as a proposed search partnership with a $1 billion upfront payout last year — both under the leadership of former CEO Jerry Yang.

By comparison, the pact finally approved by new Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz and Yahoo board members (including five percent activist shareholder Carl Icahn) is modest, complex and unlikely to create meteoric value. It’s almost as if there is another shoe to drop in the Microsoft-Yahoo two-step.

At best, Yahoo will realize $500 million in annual operating profit and is guaranteed only 88 percent of ad sales from its affiliated and owned search business in the first five years. Yahoo will see $275 million in cost savings and $200 million less in capital expenditures annually once the companies’ businesses are fully integrated in about two years. Weak advertising and shaky initiatives will depress 2009 operating cash flow 10 percent and drive down revenues 13 percent, analysts estimate.

Yahoo – Microsoft 10 year Deal!

PART – 1

Microsoft and Yahoo have reached an agreement on a 10-year search deal. The agreement which will allow both companies to focus on their core strengths: Microsoft’s Bing will become the default search engine on Yahoo.com, and Yahoo will eventually take over the ad inventory on all Bing search results, eliminating complexity for advertisers (and internal overhead).

The Department of Justice still needs to sign off on the deal, but executives of Microsoft and Yahoo are reportedly confident that will ultimately happen. The agreement will probably take months to finalize, but since Google currently claims 65 percent of U.S. searches (which i will agree), and Yahoo and Microsoft 19.6 and 8.4 percent, respectively, the sooner they can start to catch up, the better.

From Microsoft’s press release, the key terms of the agreement:

Bleeding Billboards in New Zealand

People in NewZealand are as bad as drivers in Los Angeles. They cant drive properly! Let alone they would be able to drive the right way in the rain. The following video showcases work done by an advertising agency “BBDO” for the district of Papakura. In order to create awareness amongst the drivers to drive their cars safely, they tried to  send a message across by placing a billboard on major freeways which showed a face of boy, which actually bleeds when it rains, Creativity at its best.. Enjoy!

Global media’s war

The global players claiming to be champions of democracy and freedom of the media are using their media outlets as instruments to further their political, economic and foreign policy agendas.

Interestingly the so-called independent and liberal media of various countries supports them so that they can realize their national objectives. Hence they too are the agents of global political and economic powers.

Foreign Channels contributing to local channel's content. Why?

This can be illustrated by the role of the CNN, BBC and others who supported their governments in the Gulf and Iraq wars. It is a classic example of a ‘marriage of convenience’ and ‘symbiotic relationship’ between different forms of power including political, economic, coercive and symbolic media power as identified by John B.

Thompson. By closely monitoring the international media one can easily conclude that they are protecting and promoting their national interests. Gone are the days when wars were only fought on the battlefield. Now the media has become an indispensable component of the war strategy. Manipulation of the media by political powers during wartime has altogether redefined the concept and definition of war.

At present, Pakistan is engaged in a media war which is planned and systematic. The country is not only the victim of physical terror but also of media terrorism launched by the foreign media and their sponsors. Often, questionable and baseless stories are aired by the foreign media which besides tarnishing the image of the country are meant to put pressure on the Pakistani government, leading to an environment of uncertainty, fear and political turmoil. Why are VOA and BBC programmes being aired on private Pakistani TV and radio channels? What is the agenda? Are these being run out of altruistic motives? Or is it simply to improve the image of the US and Britain in Pakistan? The public has a right to know under what terms, conditions and arrangements the private channels allow this. It is shocking that our indigenous media should be offering space to foreign and local forces that can be charged with airing programmes against Pakistan’s national interest. 

Refugee for your sins, What a crap!!

On a lazy sunday afternoon while going through the news, something caught my attention. There was a news item on msn, it had the heading “Adulterous Saudi princess in UK asylum bid”. It was about a Saudi Princess who went to Uk she fell in love with a guy, and now she is pregnant with his baby.

(read the whole story at the bottom of the page)

Longtime back i read a novel by Jean Sasso ‘ THE PRINCESS’.  It was about an arab princess sultana who was born and raised in the Al-Saud family which is one of the many Royal families living there. The book itself had many shocking truths that the world had never known before. It showcased the life of an Arab princess, who was born in a male dominant society, she being a female was looked upon with pity by her father and brothers. Male dominance in KSA is very common, women are shunned there and are just present for the sake of pleasure of men. Their lives start with a look of remorse from their fathers & brothers, and later on they are married to an old rich Arab as their 2nd, 3rd or even 4th wife. These rich old Arabs are probably big businessmen or some deprived prince, who only know women as a source of pleasure in bed. All their lives these women live with maids and servants as they long for togetherness of their husbands.

Considering  the fact that all their lives these Arab women lead a life under a veil and quietly fade away without much notice, this particular princess broke the status quo and did something not very acceptable in the Arab society. Well not that committing adultery is very welcomed or is a great achievement in other parts of the world. She did commit adultery but she knew its restricted in her homeland, now she has to suffer. She is now asking the british government for security and to allow her to stay in UK to seek refuge, so that she wont be punished for it. If she and her boyfriend will go to KSA now they will face death penalty for sure, i am not encouraging what she did was right but my question here:

Is this what everyone should do? Do something wrong and flee to another country to seek refuge?

Adulterous Saudi princess in UK asylum bid: report

Released on – Monday,20 July , 2009 -17:35 02

A Saudi princess who fell pregnant during an affair with a British man has been granted asylum here after she claimed she could face the death penalty if she went home, a

newspaper report said Monday.

A court granted refugee status to the young woman, who is married to a member of the Saudi royal family, after she told the judge her adultery made her liable to death by stoning in Saudi Arabia, The Independent said.

A spokeswoman for the Home Office in London refused to confirm the report, saying it did not comment on individual cases. A spokesman for the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia in London was unavailable.

According to the newspaper, the princess — who was granted anonymity by the court — is one of a small number of citizens of Saudi Arabia who claim asylum in Britain but whose cases are not openly acknowledged by either government.

Recognition by the government would be viewed as criticism of human rights in Saudi Arabia, which would embarrass both sides, it said.

The princess reportedly met her boyfriend, who is not a Muslim, during a visit to London. She became pregnant the following year and returned to Britain to have the baby in secret.

Since then her family has broken off contact with her, and she persuaded a court that if she returned home then both she and her child would be subject to capital punishment under Sharia law, namely flogging and stoning to death.

How the advertising space of Axion bank became THE advertising space of a band – Bad Cirkuz

I was just randomly browsing through the Cannes Lions Festival and i stumbled upon this, this i personally believe is a revolution and one of the most extra ordinary ideas that an advertiser can come up with. This is just simply mind blowing and when i was checking it out, i had my mouth wide open with my jaw dropped 10 feet below (ok thats an exaggeration!) lol.

On a much serious note this is simply superb. The whole idea is very simple yet very very effective. I dont think the banner ad spaces available on the website can be utilized more effectively than this, what more can you ask for than a like Concert! I mean then you’d only be expecting movies being shot n shown right there and then.

Axion is a bank in Belgium and to reach more towards the youth market, they went a step further. They engaged the audience by providing them something totally unique, persumably a life changing experience. Just read  between the line – What more a struggling youth band can ask for other than a great deal of exposure by performing live for their audience? And my friend a hefty 6.8 million impressions in banner advertisement is no mean feat when it comes to exposure.

Anyways enough of talking see for yourself the story of how the advertising space of a bank became the advertising space of a band. You’ll get the picture yourself and even if you dont get it, feel free to comment!